Don't feel bad about your human frailties.
My experience of meeting people who I really look up to has shown that they too have emotional meltdowns, are completely disorganized, get baffled, and occasionally even screw things up royally (though hopefully to humorous effect). They still continue to be awesome in spite all of this. Focus on cultivating your own awesome instead of wringing your hands over how you're not impeccably flawless like RANDOM_PERSON_YOU_LOOK_UP_TO, because odds are that they're just as big a mess as you are. =)