April 2013

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Sunday, May 19th, 2013 06:39 am
the good part of visiting the eye doctor for my first eye exam in four years (yeah, i know, i know): getting a prescription for new glasses, since according to the eye charts my vision (usually correctable to 20/15) had slipped down to about 20/30 with the current prescription.

the bad part of etc: having to wait for the lenses for the new glasses to be manufactured, since they don't keep my prescriptions in stock :D

i also got a box of contact lenses for the first time in ages; the eye doc i had as a child put me in lenses at a pretty-much-unheard-of-at-the-time age 10 or 11, since my eyes were degenerating so rapidly he thought that maybe the lenses would keep them from continuing to degrade. (and it mostly worked! my eyes kept getting bad after that, but nowhere near as quickly.) i wore contacts for about 18 or 19 years until i got too lazy to keep up with them, and i was a little afraid that having gone back to the glasses would start the downslide back up again, but nope, still correctable to 20/15, in glasses at least. (i could get better correction with the contacts if i were going to wear them more often and thus could justify spending more money on the more expensive ones that will also correct the astigmatism, but since the contacts are only going to be for occasional use, it's definitely not worth it.) although the eye doc says that i've probably only got another few years before i'll need bifocals, whee.

i'm trying the new "high definition" lenses they've developed, for the new pair of glasses. i am very interested, since i've always had refraction problems and they're supposed to be good for staring at computer screens for long periods. i will report back.

i've also finally bitten the bullet and admitted that my damn arms are not getting better from rest/ice/steroid shots/etc, so i dropped a bunch of money on technology that's hopefully going to make things better. including giving up and admitting it's time to try to work with dictation software, despite the fact that is the exact fucking opposite of how my brain works and is probably going to be a fucking nightmare. i'm hoping that just using the voice controls for things like page down when reading long documents, dictating short bursts of things, making my notes-to-self, doing a few emails, etc, will be enough to address the problem, especially when combined with the new two-piece, super-split keyboard i ordered so i can stop reaching inward to type and exaggerating the pronation and deviation, will help enough that i don't have to use the dictation software for extended bursts of composition or creative writing, since i absolutely cannot do that verbally. (i've tried before, but at least one of the meds i'm on gives me minor-but-significant verbal aphasia and that is no place to go for a good time.)

on the bright (?) side, at least the new adaptive tech means a new laptop to go with it. this one i'm using now isn't that old, not old enough to have a ton of problems running the software or whatever, but a faster laptop will help, and i'm getting a 13" MacBook Pro instead of the 15" i have now; i'm hoping the smaller, lighter laptop will help, and it will mean i can just put the two pieces of the split keyboard on either side of the laptop more easily.

(plus, i ordered the retina display model. i mean, why not, right?)
Sunday, May 19th, 2013 06:51 pm
Plentiful sacrifice and believers in redemption
are all that is needed
so any day now
I expect some new religion
to rise up like tear gas
from the streets of New York
erupting like the rank pavement smell
released by the garbage-trucks'
baptismal drizzle.

The high priests have been ready and waiting
with their incense pans full of fire.
I do not know the rituals
the exhaltations
nor what name of the god
the survivors will worship
I only know she will be terrible
and very busy
and very old.
Sunday, May 19th, 2013 01:13 am
1. My mom's birthday is next week and I've been meaning to get her some books but keep not thinking about it when I'm actually at the computer. Tonight I remembered and finally ordered them, and while I was at it, got myself a new wiimote and nunchuk, since I'll be sending the old Wii ones to Irene along with the Wii (she was going to take it in her luggage, but there ended up not being room).

2. Speaking of finallys, I also finally got my new iphone stand thingy set up. I have been wanting a stand for ages because I facetime with Irene several times a week and it gets really annoying to hold the phone the whole time (and sometimes my hand hurts), so now I will just be able to set it on the table and not worry! She had bought me one and brought it with her, but since I wasn't actually calling her while she was here and plugging it in involves getting under my desk, which I didn't want to do, I hadn't set it up yet.

3. TWO people called in sick today at work, both of them scheduled for the same shift (it's not so bad if one person calls in sick in the morning and one person in the evening, but both at the same time means there is only one person left). I called the three people who weren't working today, but my hopes weren't high, so I was resigned to spending my last several hours of work on the register once we were down to one cashier, but someone did call and say they could work! (And it was the person I almost didn't call because I thought it was so unlikely she'd say yes. She's an older lady who only wants to work like 15 hours a week and so far has said no every time she's been asked to work an extra day or stay even an hour or half hour extra.) So while I did have to spend more time than usual helping at the registers today, it wasn't as much as I'd feared and I did manage to get a fair amount of work done at my desk.

4. I've been playing Super Mario World tonight and wow, it looks so old! It's weird because even though it's a newer game than SMB 1, 2, and 3, for some reason I remember those better. Maybe I played them more? I remember being super excited about SMW when it came out and reading all these magazine articles before the SNES's release. I'm sure I played it a lot when it was first released, but I guess I didn't go back and play it much later? idk. Anyway, I don't remember anything. Also having just been playing New SMB Wii U means that I get confused about what I can and can't do a lot. ^_^;; Can't butt pound blocks. Can't flutter with Yoshi. Can't wall jump. Some of these things can be deadly when you think you can do them and then you can't. :p I also feel like I have no goal when there's not the three big coins to collect. I'm like, okay, I'm just going through the level, but not doing anything. Having the goal just be "get to the end" is weird. I'm not used to that anymore.

5. New SMB Wii U is also super awesome and fun, though. It's also really short and easy? I mean, Mario games generally are pretty short, but this seems easier than the Wii one. I beat the cloud world tonight, which means there's just Bowser land left, and while there are still coins to go back and get, there's not a ton. Most were easy to get the first time through. (I know for sure I've completely finished worlds 1 and 2.)
Sunday, May 19th, 2013 12:07 am
I am having marvellous fun playing with my self-indulgent NCIS crossover. It's just for fun so the sentences can be as long as I want and I get to talk about shoe-shopping for paragraphs at a time.

Anyway, tonight I felt like taking a related frolic through my school's databases.

Two articles I have full-text access to:

"Undercover agent assessment centers: Crafting vice and virtue for impostors" by M. Girodo, 1997, in Social Behavior and Personality volume 12 issue 5 pages 237-260.
The government agent's personality is one of the principal instruments of an undercover operation. This paper provides an overview of long standing problems in assessing essential job-related abilities in undercover agents, and some solutions which have been implemented over the last 20 years. Read more... ).

"Dissociative-type identity disturbances in undercover agents: Socio-cognitive factors behind false-identity appearances and reenactments" by M. Girodo, T. Deck, and M. Morrison, 2002, in Social Behavior and Personality volume 30 issue 7 pages 631-644.
The uncontrolled dissociative-type reappearance of a fabricated false identity in undercover agents was investigated in 48 federal police officers (male and female; aged 26-41 yrs old) undergoing 3 wks of undercover field exercises in 2 separate classes. Read more... )


Two articles I do not have access to, aside from abstracts:

"World War II Never Ended in My House: Interviews of 12 Office of Strategic Services Veterans of Wartime Espionage on the 50th Anniversary of WW II" by C. Susan, in Psychobiology of posttraumatic stress disorders: A decade of progress edited by R. Yehuda, 463-471, Malden: Blackwell Publishing.
The author conducted sociological interviews of 12 OSS spies (7 male, 5 female) who were operatives in France during World War II Read more... )

"Illuminating feminine cultural shadow with women espionage agents and the dark Goddess" by D. E. Rickards (dissertation abstract, 2006)
This research is an exploration into western feminine cultural shadow through the interviews of eight women from Belgium, France, Holland, Ireland, Poland, Turkey, and United States, who volunteered for espionage work such as couriers, weapons specialists, and saboteurs in the Second World War. Read more... )
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 11:55 pm
In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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Saturday, May 18th, 2013 06:38 pm
I made a up nice recipe! It is green apple rhubarb crumble and is gluten free.

- crumble stuff is brown sugar, butter, oats, tapioca flour, coconut flour
- 4 green apples, maybe 8 stalks rhubarb, brown sugar, tapioca flour, cinnamon, ginger, honey

I sauteed the rhubarb for a few minutes to see if it was very juicy, but it wasn't. Threw a spoonful of honey in there and about as much ginger as my thumb. Then mixed it with the apples and sprinkled some sugar, cinnamon, and tapioca flour on it all figuring that would thicken the juicy inside.

Mash the brown sugar into the butter, then mix in the oats and various kinds of flour.

I cooked it maybe 40 minutes at 375. It is perfect! The ginger really makes it. If I could have found the cardamom I would have put a pinch into the apple/rhubarb filling. This much stuff filled a 9 inch square glass pan.

Gluten free stuff is for Zond7 who is trying this out and seems to be doing better on it. Hard to stick to. Next I will try making gf cornbread again and then gf mac and cheese with brown rice pasta.

Day of domesticity and naps - I put up a lot of hooks and brackets and did a lot of laundry. A. continues excitedly doing things to create a Paradise for Birds. At 7am she was up asking me for "chores -- chores that might be like watering the garden or filling the bird feeders." OK! Chores! 7am! hop to it, kid! Over the course of the day she helped me drill holes, screw screws, and oil the patio benches with teak oil.

She duct taped a yogurt container up on top of the highest fence for crows. Her rambly singing has switched between lullabies and fake crow calls all day. Moomin did some homework (but has WAY MORE) everyone but me played a board game called zooloretto and A.'s friend from school came over.

Zond7 slept off his jet lag. I also did some worky things over the day when I was resting my ankles and not asleep. We're hoping to see the star trek movie tomorrow!

So lovely to have more energy, be able to walk around today, etc. and use my hands so much for things like drilling, screwdrivers, laundry, and carrying things. It may not feel very good tomorrow. And yet Enbrel <3 <3 <3 <3
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 08:45 am
Summary from the encyclopedia post: I hang out with GINORMOUS NERDS. :D Some of whom also read the dictionary as children.

I'm up early and have completed all my Internet browsing. Now I actually need to find the get-up-and-go to clean, or cook, or write, or shop, or research, or something.
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 08:44 am
♥ ♥ ELEMENTARY ♥ ♥
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 02:20 pm
“Gene Roddenberry was really a visionary in the 60s, and used his show as a way to reflect back at society so many topics that really people weren't able to talk about then. The first interracial kiss was on Star Trek, and you have this crew that represents such an amalgam of people coming together for the betterment of humanity. I think he was at heart really an optimist who had true faith in what we're capable of for the good, and it's nice to be a part of something like that.” Zachary Quinto, The Jonathan Ross Show, 4th May 2013


“Star Trek is nearly 50 years old now and it’s been around for so long because I think it offers hope for us as a species. The thing people have always been attracted to (with Star Trek) is the idea that we might live beyond this age of conflict and uncertainty. And it’s not only that, but it’s also the ability to work together and live in a world where everyone is accepted no matter who you are.

The original series with Gene Roddenberry was incredibly progressive. It started barely 20 years after the end of World War II, with a Japanese officer aboard the Enterprise, a black woman in charge of an entire division, and a Russian on board—albeit in subordinate roles, but it was an incredibly progressive move. It offered this utopian idea of cooperation and that’s always going to be something to strive toward until we actually achieve it. In that respect, Star Trek will never go out of fashion.” Simon Pegg
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 01:37 am
I have been travelling slowly from Manila to Anchorage over the past two days. Lots of planes, airports, hotel rooms.

I've been enjoying the slow disconnection from everything. I'm not completely disconnected yet: free wifi hotspots are everywhere so I get online in the evenings and while waiting to check in or board...

But I've not been following along or catching up to scrollback or trying too hard to catch anyone :) just... Letting things flow and catching whatever comes my way.

Tomorrow will be completely disconnected (or so I hope) for a week. Wouldn't have believed it five years ago or maybe even two... But I am actually looking forward to this (with a few crucial exceptions where I hope email will tide me over).
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 11:30 am
I am here. I fully intend to be back. And I am not actually sure why I haven't been around, because I have been online the whole time. For the past weeks, it's mostly been embarrassment about not having checked Dreamwidth for so long...

So, tell me about what happened the past three months, please? I really want to know. And I will share my news with you all soon. Missed you.
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Saturday, May 18th, 2013 01:13 am
When I can focus, I focus hard. This can be an asset at work: deep focus tends to mean hella productivity. Deep focus also means that any interrupts are somewhat jarring.

If I'm not focusing, I will notice when someone shows up at my cube. If I am focusing, and I'm dwelling within the Headphones of Oblivion, anything that succeeds in getting my attention will probably also make me startle.

My co-workers always seem chagrined at disturbing me, but that is in fact my job, to be disturbed to do random things, on basically every other day but the 2nd Thursday of the month.

I've been wanting to rig up something, because the best way of getting my attention is visual (even though that can fail if I'm really in the zone). I'd been poking around, but most of the cubicle doorbells I'd seen (no, fingers, not "doorbees") had been too noisy to be neighborly.

Then I was at Fry's the other night looking for a slightly exotic battery, and wandered into the security section, and they had wireless doorbells. One of them lit up. It was inexpensive enough, and claimed its volume was adjustable enough, that I thought it might be worth a try.

Turned out that the volume had two settings, loud and louder. That's all right for a doorbell. I started thinking of how I could fuck up the speaker enough to be cubicle-friendly, then chided myself for not thinking like an engineer. I unscrewed the unit, and discovered to my delight that the speaker wire plugged in. When unplugged, it just blinked.

My cube now has a doorbell button, and the blinking unit is set right below my monitor, where I'll probably see it. I showed it off to the Stage Manager, who has been running around like the proverbial chicken in the past few days. He has been delightedly using it. I'm not sure if I've missed it yet, but I've found myself turning around without really realizing why I just decided to turn around, and then seeing the flashing light out of the corner of my eye, finally coming to my notice.

One of those times, he asked: "Do you have a highlighter color in something ... other than yellow?" and brandished his yellow highlighter with some disdain.

"What color do you want?" I asked, digging through my desk. (The recent ZOMGAAAAAAUGH has resulted in complete confusion on every available surface of my cube except the keyboard, my syrup rack, and Beyoncé Jr.'s place of pride.)

"Any color, really," he said. "It could be pink, or ... what colors do you have?"

I located the packet, under a notebook and three boxes of badge fixin's. "Every color," I said, and whipped it out.

"Those are highlighters?" the Stage Manager said in covetous disbelief, and went into what I can only describe as "ferret shock", fingers twitching towards one marker, then towards another, making little incoherent sounds.

"Or if you want you could borrow the whole packet," I said. It's not that I'm against watching my managers in a state of twitching indecision, but it's unfair to take advantage of a guy who's clearly in no fit condition to make unnecessary decisions.

This was the right answer, as he snagged the packet and ran back off to his office, clearly planning to color-code the ever-living daylights out of next week's schedule.
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 12:31 am
1. There's a sale in the Wii U shop, buy Super Mario World ($7.99) and get Super Mario Bros 2 for half off ($2.49), so I grabbed those. I guess they're trying to get people to buy stuff from the Wii U shop, so I will definitely be on the lookout for more sales! Mario 2 is not one of my favorites, but I figured for $2.49 why not? And I had been eyeing Mario World anyway, as I really liked that one and haven't played it in aaaaaaaaaaaages.

2. I did get quite a bit done at work today and should be able to get even more done tomorrow, since there's only a handful of new invoices on Saturdays, most of which are bakery ones which don't need anything done except to be filed.

3. I got some free hiyashi chuka from work. I don't know why, but there was a big box in the fridge of noodle packages and sauce packages and a sign that said to take some, so I did. And then I had some for dinner. :D
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 12:30 am
Today was a day, all right. It is coming up on the time of an event, and for various reasons it was necessary to make personalized printed-out items. And this, my lovelies, meant -- the mail merge.

Today was not a good day for me vs. the mail merge. Read more... )
Friday, May 17th, 2013 11:55 pm
In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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Saturday, May 18th, 2013 12:52 am
 2013.05.14

Spent much of today walking around with a driftwood staff through swamps pretending to be a wizard.

I attribute finding 2 new turtles partially to conjuration.
 

2013.05.16

The Day I Tracked All The Turtles: Even the Ones We Didn't Know Were There

Generally we track 1 group of turtles a day, divided up by site. There's 3 in one group and 7 in another. But today, I tracked the 7 in the morning, which is a bit of a slog – usually one winds up with 1 turtle left over that the other crew picks up before you get to it.

Then in the afternoon we were going to the second site anyway with an extra person, so we thought, "why not track the 3 easy ones today?"

Picked all of them up, including Henry of the deformed genitalia (his penis pokes through a weird extra hole in his tail: probably a healed over wound).

While there, Julia found a new turtle to transmitter within 10 minutes! So we popped one on her and dubbed her Ogopogo and were all very happy with how productive a day it had been. But upon returning to the Trailer of Science, we counted transmitters and turtles. And came up with a discrepency!

There was a forgotten turtle we had put a transmitter on 3 weeks ago and then completely neglected to track. Like, ever. O_O

So I got dropped off at the side of the road at her last (only) known location, and commenced hunting her down to the Indiana Jones Theme Song with a travel mug of tea in hand. And I managed to track her down before I even finished my tea! Got picked up at the side of the road 20 minutes later. We figured her name shall be Lazarus.  

Saturday, May 18th, 2013 12:33 am

Back in the land of internet access temporarily. And yay! I got an email saying the sketch for my tattoo is done.

Here's the image I gave her to work with: I said I wanted pretty much exactly this, with perhaps chunkier lines and no shadow underneath.

And here's the image I got:
 

Soooo, yeah. I've already given them a, probably unrefundable, $100 deposit based on all the good things a previous customer said (and he had decent ink*). But, um, this just seems really weird. It's not as though I felt like I didn't communicate my idea well. And, I gave the artist a print out of the drawing I wanted. So, just seems a little nuts to continue with someone who so clearly DID NOT GET what I was asking for. I mean, I don't know the logistics of tattoo image feasibility so maybe mine DID need to be more stylized, but ... I just don't get it. 

* I'm pretty sure calling it "ink" like that immediately marks me as someone who's really not all that cool enough to talk about tattoos. XD, like some sort of "nobody from there calls it 'Frisco" tell. 

 

Friday, May 17th, 2013 07:55 pm
This tiny pair of character-based spoilers from Captain America 2, via [personal profile] holli, make me VERY HAPPY.

STEEEEEVE. ♥
Saturday, May 18th, 2013 12:12 am
Internet, I spent today 11am-9:30pm studying. STUDYING. Or rather, writing one single paper, which I am FINALLY DONE WITH holy sweet jesus it's 20 pages long and I want to die.

Tomorrow? TOMORROW I AM GOING TO THE BEACH, because goddamn.

Anyway, you know what was awesome today? Elementary happened.

spoilers for the finale )
Friday, May 17th, 2013 06:49 pm
This is a screenshot of the "Fee to Pay" page on the Royal Mail website. Titles are obligatory. They offer six options, which are given (in order) as: Mr, Miss, Mrs, Ms, Dr, Sir.

This is a screenshot of the Contact Us form to which you are directed if you tell them that you have a problem with a Redelivery or paying a fee. Again, title is an obligatory field. It offers ten options, which are given (in order) as: Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Mx, Dr, Lady, Rev, Lord, Sir.

I. CANNOT. EVEN.
Friday, May 17th, 2013 09:36 am
My parents are moving house this week, and my mom texted me this morning: "I am taking a poll. Do I keep the 1987 encyclopedias or pitch them."

I voted pitch, but, I would support the purchase of new ones (World Book still produces printed editions). Getting kids used to the idea that there is a marvellous world of informative books, not all of which have been digitized, is a good idea. But for the new generation, we'd need a new set. I was born in 1987, so I grew up with those encyclopedias. I loved them, but was infuriated by their insistence that the USSR was still a thing, or their inability to explain how the Internet worked.

We used those books a lot. At least once a week, dinner conversation would discover a point of argument that could only be resolved by sending a kid running for the appropriate encyclopedia volume. I remember roaming the house on rainy days in a state of utter boredom, until I'd pick a volume up and browse through it for entries that caught my eye.

I'm already building a shelf of my library with books more acceptable to children, since if I host my nieces or nephews I'd like for my place not to be the arid wasteland of uptight furniture and nothing fun to do.

Did anyone else read encyclopedias for fun? Using myself as a reference point for normal childhood is always tenuous, since I also read the dictionary front to back, and I know not many other children did that.
Friday, May 17th, 2013 09:30 am
I've been waiting for months to get the cats a ball-track-catnip-interactive thingy, and finally, since we were at the Humane Society yesterday, we picked one up.

Me: *unveils new toy of awesomeness!*
Cats: *remind us that they haven't had dinner yet*
Me: You don't eat for another three hours. Deal with it. *sprinkles catnip into the toy of awesomeness*
Chelsea: I think...I think I love this toy.
Maddy: I haven't been fed since lunch time. You know that, right? *wanders away*
Chelsea: No, I know I love this toy. It is my friend!
*ball moves when Chelsea touches it*
Chelsea: OH MY GOD IT MOVES.
Me: *demonstrates ball rolling in track*
Chelsea: I will hunt it! Yes! I will destroy it! I will... Hey, I don't think this ball comes out of the track.

I HAVE IT! No wait I don't have it. I HAVE IT! Argh, it rolled away. I HAVE IT WITH BOTH PAWS! ...nooooooooo. I WILL BITE IT--!

Guys, the ball doesn't come out of the track! It just goes around! And around...so fascinating...so prey-like...

Get it get it get it get it get it get it get it

Hm. Have not been able to get it.

I must back up and hunt the ball from ambush. That is the only way to get it out of the track.

Chelsea backs up, crouches behind the couch, gets her butt in the air and starts wriggling it. Meanwhile, Maddy wanders back from one more disconsolate lick of her empty food bowl.

Maddy: This new thing does smell good. *steps onto the scratch pad* Hm, it has a rolly ball in a track. Well, no matter. I will sprawl on it. Clearly the humans intended me to have another bed. *SPRAWLS*

Chelsea: Maddy is on my prey. ... HUMANS! MADDY IS ON MY PREY. MAKE HER STOP. OR I WILL TEAR AROUND THE APARTMENT DOING PARKOUR OFF ALL THE FURNITURE AND THEN SIT ON THE CAT TREE, SO THERE.

Humans: *giggling helplessly*

Maddy: And this is why I am boss cat.

and also a to-do list )
Friday, May 17th, 2013 02:04 pm
“When I try to explain slash to non-fans, I often reference that moment in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan where Spock is dying and Kirk stands there, a wall of glass separating the two longtime buddies. Both of them are reaching out towards each other, their hands pressed hard against the glass, trying to establish physical contact. They both have so much they want to say and so little time to say it. Spock calls Kirk his friend, the fullest expression of their feelings anywhere in the series. Almost everyone who watches that scene feels the passion the two men share, the hunger for something more than what they are allowed. And, I tell my nonfan listeners, slash is what happens when you take away the glass. The glass, for me, is often more social than physical; the glass represents those aspects of traditional masculinity which prevent emotional expressiveness or physical intimacy between men, which block the possibility of true male friendship. Slash is what happens when you take away those barriers and imagine what a new kind of male friendship might look like. One of the most exciting things about slash is that it teaches us how to recognize the signs of emotional caring beneath all the masks by which traditional male culture seeks to repress or hide those feelings.” — Henry Jenkins, “Confessions of a Male Slash Fan,” SBF 1, May 1993
Friday, May 17th, 2013 01:05 am
1. I am really, really loving the Wii U. Way more than I thought I would. I knew I would love Mario (how could I not?), but I didn't think I would actually love the system. I thought the controller looked silly and unnecessary and clunky and figured I'd totally ignore it in favor of the regular wiimotes (which I'm not super fond of, either, tbh), but I LOVE IT. I love being able to do stuff on the controller like use the wii shop or poke around Netflix and even watch Netflix or play a game on it without turning on the TV at all. And it's actually really comfortable to hold.

2. Ugh, even though I didn't actually take any time off work (just rearrange my days off) somehow it feels like I didn't work for ages and have tons of work piled up. How can so much work be piled up when I worked the same number of hours as usual? (Well, yesterday I did take off two hours early, but only two hours!) I know it's a combination of having to do a lot of cashier stuff recently, plus all these internet outages we've had, combined with a bunch of extra work coming in such as price changes for what feels like every product in the store, but my inbox is just really ridiculous. I did manage to get a good chunk taken care of today, and organised what's left. Tomorrow is a big delivery day (which means more invoices to add to the pile), but there's not anything particular I need to do, so hopefully I should be able to just sit down and concentrate on all this backlog.

3. I finally got my $50 iTunes gift card in the mail today! Still not sure what I want to do with the bulk of it (and of course I don't actually need to use it all now), but I did buy Luxor, Luxor 2, and Tetris. (Which altogether was only $3. XD)

4. After the horrible, horrible heat of Monday, it's cooled down quite a bit again. I really do not want to be getting hot weather just now (or ever, really, but I know it's inevitable). The extended forecast has it in the mid to high 60s through the end of the month, so hopefully that will hold true.

5. It's my first payday with my new raise. Extra money, yay! :D (Especially yay after all the extra spending I did while Irene was here. ^_^;;)
Friday, May 17th, 2013 01:02 am
A glance down at the map reads:
Here There Be Dragons.
Nothing about rocks or terrain
Nor even the sort of vegetation.
Just dragons.

In these times, it can be a comfort
to possess a guidebook containing
Dragons.

Length, markings, wings;
fire or no fire?
These things help
when walking through dragon country.
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Thursday, May 16th, 2013 10:43 pm
Day one back on my meds, though it's going to take a bit for all my systems to get re-regulated. There may have been something off with dinner last night, since I felt like crap this morning and do not think that was entirely the meds.

Bert, meanwhile, has just finished his second round of anti-nauseants, so we'll see if he starts puking again.

We are a fun, fun household right now. But we're cute.



ADORABLE CAT PICTURES )
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Thursday, May 16th, 2013 11:55 pm
In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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Thursday, May 16th, 2013 09:45 pm
Just realized this evening my sinuses really are going haywire. This maybe explains why I feel so generally rotten, and my head hurts, and I spent a day dizzy and sick. Maybe it's just that I actually am sick. Well, whatever.

Not a bad day. Though very long and I cried on the way home from the pain clinic. Before my appointment I went to the fabulous House of Paincakes (not really called that) and had a totally delicious hummus/falafel/tabouleh/dolmas plate with toasted pita bread. it is all very fresh and homemade and was 8 bucks for the lot. Yeah! Worked from the cafe, then oozed over to the Pain Rooms.

The waiting room smelled unbelievable like someone had just crop-dusted with farts, or a disco fog machine but with old armpits, farts, yawns, and gym sock mold. Really, what was wrong with that place! Along with the other people trapped there I delighted in a 2 year old who was being entertained by a nice lady with an iphone. Fish! Dora! Bubbles! Etc. Then they looked at a highlights magazine together while the father beamed proud & nervous that maybe the kid was going to start annoying the nice strange lady. Then a new lady came in and went "Huh! This place smells like MUSKY BALLS!" (2 year old: "Ball? Ball? Catch? Bounce? Ball? Bounce? Dora?) I could not believe I had just heard this out loud. Whose balls has this woman been smelling, anyway? Gross! Did she really say it? Was there something else she could have said that I mistook for "musky balls?" Should I ask her? Was I smirking? Hahahah! Holy wow!

The rest of the people left over the next few minutes for their appointments or as their partners came out of the PAIN ROOMS inside the super secure drugs-inside-here door. It was just me and Ms. Muskballer. She mentioned the weather. I agreed that it had been foggy and cold, but was getting nicer outside. We agreed the sun is awesome. She told me how she loves to go in her back yard and sunbathe. Me too!

"And I sprawl out. I don't care, maybe someone way up there (gestures towards imaginary 3rd floor window) can see me but I just don't care, I'm all in my altogether out there in the sunny morning now that I'm in Union City instead of Alameda where the fog would just get at me." "Oh, me too, morning fog, goes right into my bones." "So I sprawl out like THIS" (demonstration of Sun Worshiping Wide Open Beaver yoga pose, arms up)

Hahahha! No one can see me in the yard either except maybe from way up! So I just, you know, get a little sun in there too! (We both crack up as I mime coyly lifting up my shirt).

"Well I just love the sun. I go down to the Caribbean 3 times a year just to get my sun but now I get it in my own back yard. You know, it's close in here. "

"Yeah it's not very..."

"It smells like MUSKY BALLS in here. It's not right." This time I know I heard it! GLORY TO THE BALLS LADY. It is the best time I have ever had in a waiting room especially one that stinky. I went over to the door and wedged a trash can in it to get more air in. We then discussed how much sun was optimal on the skin and whether we used sun screen (only sometimes). Then the doctor came out.

The new resident or guy on rotation was very nice, though, he did the horrible rotating-outwards thign that hurts like fury to test me, and my blood pressure was unusually high. (still high normal) Maybe I will stop eating butter and go back to olive oil and vinegar for my toast. Rotation guy suggested I try the old compound ketamine cream on my ankles. Dr. Major General was awesome as always but impressed me extra with a special, gentle, two handed flat palmed handshake that had NO SQUEEZING. Genius of the pain clinic! My next injection is at the end of June.

Bus ride hard and crowded and jolty. I was a bit teary-eyed. Finally home. yarnivore was here with A. who came home early (there was a plan , with a friend, but it fell through) Baby birds discovered in the birdhouse in the backyard! A. declared she would make the yard a paradise for birds! We could hear them peeping in there and see nest material but the birds seemed to be huddled up against the front just out of site. Birdseed scattered! expedition to the park to get sticks and dead leaves so that bugs would live there and the birds could eat them! Beans and flowers planted! (this all happened while i laid on the couch.) Yarnivore and i laid about talking about arthritis. We ate bean soup. Hours later A. broke the news there are no birds. The peeping noise was the wood of the birdhouse rubbing against the fence! Chagrin.... "But we will make it an awesome bird paradise anyway because the birds put nesting stuff in there so they will come back!"

Video chatted with Zond7 in Norway. He is stuck there an extra day but on his way home now! Hurrah!!!!!

Going tomorrow to see A. play the flute for the school concert.

OK, taking some more sinus meds and then to sleep.

Oh wait. Stranger in Olondria was very good! I loved it! I knew I would from the excerpt booklet from last year's WisCon. Dreamy and lovely....and all the quotations and literary allusions from the narrator! I didn't want it to end. I'll read anything Sofia Samatar writes!
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 09:23 pm
So, you may remember that two years ago, Valve transferred my games from an old Steam account to my current one, in what disappointingly appeared to be a one-off.

Just to make sure, however, four days ago I asked Steam Support for an update on what would happen nowadays for people that were in my position.

These are my three contributions to the Support ticket. )The main question I asked in this ticket was this (emphasis added):
If someone else were in the same situation as I was two years ago, having had a legal name change (with evidence in the form of legally-recognised documentation such as a deed poll or statutory declaration), a username which was clearly based on their old name, and a clean VAC record, would Valve be willing to change the account name upon the submission of such evidence? (For the purposes of this question, 'change the account name' may also include creation of a new account and all licences registered on the old account transferred to the new one, as that was how my own ticket was resolved.)
Now, I realise that this is a pretty narrow field. This was intentional in order to increase the chances that they might be receptive. I do realise that there are trans* people out there who don't meet these criteria. Policy changes always have to start somewhere, though, and I understand the issues involved. I figured that if any policy change at all had been made, this narrow definition would fit inside it.

Today, they responded. (In fact, it was Walter who responded; the same person who replied in the other ticket to assist me with transferring the games.)

So, what was their answer?
4 Message by Support Tech Walter on Thu, 16th May 2013 8:26 pm

Hello Sophie,

We have not changed any policies regarding account names. As mentioned in your original ticket, this is for security reasons.

While we understand this is a frustration for you, we have this in place by design. There are no plans to change this at this time, however I have passed your comments on to the appropriate people.
Disappointing, to say the least. There is still no reasoning given for not being able to change account names, besides the very vague "this is for security reasons". (To be fair, I didn't actually ask for an explanation in this ticket, but still.)

I'm really disappointed by Valve right now. :(
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 09:27 am
The biggest motivator for this one is that I ran out of Red Rose tea bags yesterday. I know, I know, you're thinking: "Has she gone mad? How will she live without her morning cuppa?" The answer, of course, being that I have an emergency box of decaf tea bags.

I'm a class act when it comes to tea, clearly.

Anyway, other reasons... I don't know. Fewer addictive beverages in my life seems like a good step to take? Nothing against caffeine personally. The only time it really gets to me is when I drink it in the late afternoon or evening, but usually at that point I'm drinking coke. Then it keeps me up and usually anxious. The anxiety might come from the caffeine or from lying awake not falling asleep like I should: either way, my brain starts going in circles reminding me of all the deadlines I'm behind on. I try not to buy coke as a regular thing, but it's near the first thing I reach for when buying a treat or shopping for a party. So "no caffeine" should also encompass impulse-buys of carbonated beverages, I think.

This may only last during the summer, when caffeine is less essential to such things as a) stressing over exams, b) waking up to teach and c) dealing with students. But I figure it'll reset my body to a lower caffeine tolerance (I have no science on this one but it seems reasonable?), which could be helpful in the long run when I go back to the real stuff in the fall.

So! Giving this one a try, seeing how it feels. If it's awful, I will buy caffeinated tea bags once more.

Updates on earlier experiments:
#1 - I have made fourteen dollars! I'm still in the red but I think I can do more/better once we're settled again and I have a computer that doesn't connect to the internet.
#2 - My hair is quite greasy, but only because I'm washing it less often. When I do wash it, the combo of baking soda and apple cider vinegar does leave it feeling clean and detangled. However, that feeling doesn't last as long as with ordinary shampoo and such.
#3 - I have registered as part of an ultimate team and our second practice is tonight. Last time we played a game and it was awesome-fun. I hope we do some drills and stuff tonight, though, because practices are for skills and games are for games. First game is next week.
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 11:02 am
So John and I will be packing our bags Saturday after gym, get The Feathered Terror, AKA Charlie-bird Fluffybutt, into her carrier (and pack her food), and drive off to my mother's for the weekend.

Which will consist of: hanging out with my mother and stepdad; terrorizing the puppy (and this, without any intention of terrorizing the poor thing, she's just afraid of everything); attempting to bake authentic Scottish Shortbread from recipes found online; and we have an appointment at 11am on Sunday to change our tires from Winter to Summer/All Seasons (because they're kept at my parents', so I'm getting the job done in their area).

Yesterday I spent with gut pains, off to the mid-to-upper left quadrant of my abdomen, while John had more dramatic gut issues. We think we either caught a mild bug, or had mild food poisoning. I still get a twinge every once in awhile, but it's not the constant dull pain I had yesterday (which got to its worst in the evening, ugh...).

In a little over two weeks we're on vacation, and that will be really nice. We're staying in the area, though we're planning on doing some tourist-like stuff around Montreal. We might go hiking on Mount St-Hilaire, if not, we'll hit Mount Royal for a walk and a picnic lunch in the park there (which was designed by the same planner who designed Central Park in NYC), we're also planning on seeing Star Trek Into Darkness that week, and possibly having lunch at a Korean Barbecue place downtown.
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 03:14 pm
So, I've realized I have like a bunch of long posts I could make regarding Russian-related hockey things, and it keeps feeling like I have ALL THE THINGS to say and if I don't actually choose ONE THING I'll end up not having time to write up any of them. So, a poll (no assurances I'll follow what the poll suggests, but I just want to have an idea):

Poll #13441 hockey russiany stuff
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23


If I only had time to write up one of these posts, I should write up:

View Answers

Continuation of this Geno interview.
4 (17.4%)

Alex Ovechkin's years-long long distance relationship with Evgeni Kuznetzov and why I'm shipping them already.
5 (21.7%)

Sidney Crosby and the Russian swearwords he knows (not that much content! but I will need to babble a lot to provide context)
8 (34.8%)

Something else (Evgeni Malkin's prison themed restaurant, general WOE CAPS, feels about the current World Championship...)
6 (26.1%)

Thursday, May 16th, 2013 02:03 pm
This morning I woke up at 11am. This morning, which is the morning of a workday.

I now know exactly how long it takes me to get out of the house in the morning (wash, dress, pack lunch) if I don't check my email or listen to music or do any of that stuff. Normally I'm out of the house 25 minutes after I wake up. Today it was 4.5 minutes. Yep.

this fucking month man )

On the other hand, I managed to get Netflix working on my ipad! Fake US IP, fake US billing address, all perfectly legal, progress is a beautiful thing. I now have netflix! I'm still not sure what to do with it (it's like... a video library? I haven't used one of those since I was a teenager) but I did watch Dangerous Liasons with Zhang Ziyi and Cecilia Cheung and it was DELIGHTFUL and by far my favorite adaptation of that novel, and then Sex and Lucia which I'd always meant to watch and turned out to be very mediocre and then Diary of a Nymphomaniac because I will literally watch anything with Leonardo Sbaraglia, and that movie was so boring I just watched his bits and skipped the rest.

Then I started watching Rin because OMG ANIME in an accessible and plentiful configuration, but the thing is I like adult themed anime? (I like adult themed everything, really.) And Rin seemed like my kind of thing except then it turned out it had tons of torture porn >_o and like, I like strong sexy ladies solving crime? But the torture porn got a bit much and I had to bow out after 2 episodes. But er, if you don't mind a bit of torture porn, I definitely recommend the series. (Also it was really weird watching something that was dubbed. Wtf Netflix, I don't even get the option of subtitles? Really?)

Basically so far Netflix seems like a library of mostly so-so films and TV shows. Which, whatever, the first month is free and the new Arrested Development is about to start soon, but IDK, I've yet to really find a use for it in my life.

end of netflix interlude )
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 04:02 am
So there is a thing going around the interwebs that attributes the concept that if health insurance discrimination were not a thing, people would be okay with their medical records being open access to some google big wheel.

This is not reflecting reality. Allow me to demonstrate.


Mama doesn't need to know about the STD scare I had in college while banging Shawn and he had collected a new partner.

It is none of my co-workers' business whether I am on the Pill or not.

People have weird ideas about mental illness. There are places and times I don't talk about even my depression, not to mention the more exotic shit.

In particular, that well-meaning lady from the shooting range knows jack and shit, and I don't feel like educating her.

Every now and then I run into someone who is way more into me than I am to them. Medical info is just one more thing they don't need as fuel to make a nuisance of themselves.

And then the blowhards who think because they once knew someone with the condition, this makes them more of an expert than the person living with it & their doctor combined.

Various people who used to bully me don't get anything they could possibly use.
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 12:35 am
1. The internet was out this morning at work, which was even worse than the previous times it's been out, since today I had to print the sale signs and put them up and I can't access them to print them if I have no internet! >_< I was planning on coming in tomorrow really early before the store opens and doing it then if I had to, but thankfully it came on for a little while, just long enough for me to print the signs out. (I do hope it's working tomorrow, though, since tomorrow is order day and we need the internet for that, too.0

2. Saw Irene off at the airport tonight (I'm really glad Alexander was able to take us, so I could actually say goodbye at the airport rather than having a shuttle pick her up and saying goodbye at the house, even if they don't actually let you up to wait with people at the gate anymore). We had a really fun week and I wish she didn't have to go, but it will be nice to not have to do anything (except go to work).

3. Oh! And we were poking about on the Wii U virtual console and Super Metroid was on sale for THIRTY CENTS!!! Normally $7.99. Super Metroid is one of my favorite SNES games and really one of my favorite games, period. I'm really thrilled to find it for so cheap! I also got an NES Kirby game for the same price. Pretty sure I played it back in the day and I do like Kirby, so 30 cents was a steal for that, too, even if not quite as exciting as Super Metroid. :D (Also exciting was the fact that it accepted by credit card this time. This is actually my first time buying anything from the virtual console because I'd tried before with the Wii and it kept giving me errors with my card even though I double-checked what I'd entered and I knew there was nothing wrong with the card.)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 11:55 pm
In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 11:41 pm
There really wasn't much this week because I was so busy! But I am actually managing to post on Wednesday, which I wasn't sure I would be able to do. :D

What are you currently reading?
All I Asking for Is My Body, which I mentioned last week. I read the first chapter and then have had almost zero time for reading, so I didn't get any further. It is only 100 pages, though, so I will probably finish it up this coming week.

Also near finishing 7 Seeds vol. 24. It is so awesome! Just when I think things can't get better, Tamura-sensei manages to blow me away with a totally new twist.

What did you recently finish reading?
Only thing I finished was Aozora Yell 11, which was enjoyable as expected.

What do you think you'll read next?
I grabbed Aozora Yell 12 at Asahiya last weekend, so probably that. Also I forgot there was no Jump last week because of Golden Week, so I am actually not a week behind, but I did download the new issue and need to read that. I also got Tera Girl 3 when I got Aozora Yell, so maybe I'll read that and vol. 2.
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 08:19 pm
So, I've survived being off my meds largely by taking it very easy on myself. The most emotionally taxing thing I've done since Sunday was watching Lilo and Stitch (and I cried, oh man, I CRIED). The hiccup in the works is that I neglected to file my taxes by April 30 (taxable income: $0) which means that information didn't get passed along to the health authority that pays for my meds. So I've filed, and when my tax return comes I'll send it off to the BC government and be back on the plan. Until then, a lovely person has donated enough money for me to pay the up-front price, so I go back on everything tomorrow morning.

I bought a bottle of wine with a friend on Sunday, and we only drank some of it that night. Over the past few days, as my head filled up with an itchy, fuzzy noise, as my body got less real and my heartbeat more loud and my memory shot, that wine has started singing. Because when I drank it (being a lightweight, it didn't take much) the fuzz just turned into a low, rolling thrum that was so much nicer to deal with. I actually found myself having a glass of wine as I prepared lunch yesterday.

And then I thought, ooooh no. Baaaad idea. And dumped the rest of the bottle over steak cubes this afternoon.

♥ pharmaceuticals.

I've also coped by taking one meeelleeeon pictures of my cat. Because he is so adorably cute. I may picspam at some point.
Thursday, May 16th, 2013 02:15 am
getting a parallel-translation copy of Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets delivered to the workplace of a friend who lives on the other side of the Atlantic, from whom I have not meaningfully heard since January[1], on whom I have a slightly forlorn crush

... yes good I am a grown-up and will not do this thing.

[1] this is absolutely typical of our normal communication patterns and genuinely does not, in this instance, indicate that said friend would rather continue not hearing from me
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 11:42 pm
This post springs from a conversation in IRC with [personal profile] randomling and [personal profile] woggy.

We were talking about characters, and about how ambivalent I feel towards Buffy - how angry she makes me, so often, and how much I want to give her a hug, and how invested I am in unpicking her psychology, compared to how little interest she holds for (many?) other people.

Content notes: trauma, death, violence, abuse, suicide/al ideation, spoilers through end of S6. )
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 03:10 pm
Feeling dizzy and nauseated. Maybe I am getting sick and it isn't all about swimming the other day? Or, it could be related to having taken NSAIDS. Loss of appetite also. I am eating anyway but minimally. At least I managed to work today.
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 12:01 pm
  • At our point of arrival, they went round the group quietly handing out sticky labels with our names and hospital numbers on. Except that, just like every single other interaction I've had with the NHS since changing my name, they used my first forename rather than my third forename. My third forename bloody ought by now to be recorded absolutely everywhere as my preferred name, but it took Asserting and Not Meekly Backing Down to get them to rewrite it with my actual used name on. On the plus side, I did actually Assert? I had a brief moment of vertigo, of the "do I just grit my teeth and go along with it, or do I calmly and politely insist that they treat me like a human", and they briefly tried to insist that my name badge had to "be consistent with my hospital records", but... we worked it out. And I got a badge with my used name on it. (I want to flag up that this isn't "just a trans issue": my mum and I frequently commiserate over using our third names rather than our first names and the ways people are crap about it, and there are regular stories about wallet-names rather than use-names getting currency in hospitals and causing people confusion and upset.)
  • There had been miscommunication with several patients: they'd been told, when booking in to the education session, that they'd be allowed carers with them. On the door, they were told that the (four-hour) session itself was patient-only, but carers were welcome to wait outside. Now, I can see the arguments for having the session be patient-only, but I think it's a kind of awful breakdown in communications that people were only told this after having travelled to the hospital, arranged to take the time off, etc.
  • I was using my wheelchair. There were two rows of chairs set out in the room, occupying almost the entire width. There was no obvious space for me to sit. I ended up sitting the aisle at one end of a row. Nobody offered to move one of the chairs so I could slot in more easily and be less peripheral. Even if they hadn't known in advance that I'm a wheelchair user (which, er, given the consultant's disparaging comments about same I am slightly surprised about), they did have us sitting outside the room for 15 minutes before going in, and it would not have been beyond the realms of human achievement to, um, make a space for me. Or to offer once we'd got in.
  • The one big useful thing I took away from the session actually had nothing to do with pain, and everything to do with why I wake up at two-hourly intervals for my first week or two sleeping (solo) in a new place.
  • Quite a lot of the things they recommend I am already doing, so I suppose that's reassuring?
  • I have possibly worked out some of the miscommunication with the consultant, in that when he asks "what is your pain like" I am going to give a full catalogue of everything related to endo, including acute stuff, and then he tries to tell me that it's all chronic, and things explode. This does not excuse everything he did and said, but possibly lays ground for future interactions being a bit more helpful
Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 08:43 pm
Can you understand being alone so long
you would go out in the middle of the night
and put a bucket into the well
so you could feel something down there
tug at the other end of the rope?
Tuesday, May 14th, 2013 11:55 pm
In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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